Tip #7: The Water Cooler
Hydrate, comrades. Staying hydrated is important for your brain, and your brain is critical to your creativity, and your creativity is central not only to writing, but also to maintaining your cover.
In order to stay hydrated, you’re going to have to visit the water cooler, so let’s go over some ground rules.
When you do go to the water cooler, walk briskly, with determination. This gets you good buzz around the office as a hard worker and gets your blood flowing and provides a good stretch.
Hell, you’re a multi-tasker. Bossibal Lecture loves that shit.
Always bring a slew of papers with you. The more unorganized, the better. Carrying what appears to be a finished product does you no favors. That looks like you’re trying to get caught up on work somebody else did.
You, remember, are in the middle of work-related work-in-progress. You’re chipping away at it. And it’s got you SO busy.
You’re slightly irritated you have to interrupt your work for this trip in the first place. You’re on a mission to get some agua and to get back to your project as fast as you can.
Maintain professional decorum by greeting any colleagues you encounter.
“Hey, how are you, Steve?” (Use their names. Even though you’re busy, you still take care to be friendly.)
“Good, how are you?”
“Fine, thanks.”
But, tolerate small talk beyond this not at all. Always be the first person to cut off water cooler conversations. This does two things: (1) saves you time and allows you to get back to your writing, and (2) supports your thesis that you’re busy with work. Win-win.
If someone attempts to trap you into a non-work-related conversation, change the topic to work immediately. Any half-wit colleague will get the message and leave you to it.
However, if you get stuck in a jam with a real jerk, and you inevitably will, pull out one of the papers from the mess you’re carrying, and show it them. Say, “Hey, I’ve been looking into this. Very interesting, don’t you think?” If he thinks so, say, “That’s what I was thinking.” If he doesn’t think so, say, “Yeah, you’re probably right. I need to think about it some more.”
Either way, that water-cooler slacker is not going to endure answering work-related questions in the shared office space for long.