Here’s your WPA Report for the week of January 14-18, 2019:
Comrade Boston’s old, white, male supervisor, after seeing a new Gillette advertisement, finally stopped mansplaining everything, and she turned her newfound autonomy into 3.5 more pages of postmodern bildungswoman.
Without a government bureaucrat to micromanage him, Comrade Washington added 3,000 words to his Kafkaesque horror story about a federal employee who, being forced to work without a paycheck, struggles to feed his family while he’s simultaneously forced to watch football players consume endless stacks of cheeseburgers.
Comrade Egg wrote 28 words at work that were liked by more than 48 million fans on Instagram this week. That must have set some kind of very, very important record.
Aliens might not have created that “spinning disk of ice formed on the Presumpscot River,” but Comrade Westbrook spent a two-hour staff meeting outlining what a sci-fi novel might look like if they had.
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